| Category | Quote | E-Mail this quote | | Dogs | To be sure, the dog is loyal. But why, on that account, should we take him as an example? He is loyal to men, not to other dogs.
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| Health | One of the most common of all diseases is diagnosis.
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| Life | Life is an effort that deserves a better cause
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| Morality | Morality is a disease which progresses in three stages: virtue--boredom--syphilis.
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| People | The devil is an optimist if he thinks he can make people meaner.
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| Satire | Satire that a censor can understand deserves to be suppressed.
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| War | War is, at first, the hope that we will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off.
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